i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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