You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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