none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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