I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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