It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
