i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
