My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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