; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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