I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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