I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
