it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
