I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
