Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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