Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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