Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm jealous of your bromance
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
wow bdsm is so cute
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize