you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
