I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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