either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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