I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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