i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
