I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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