Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
