May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize