oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
