clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
