He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
