11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
