I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize