I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
