I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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