I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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