If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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