First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Green mimosas i think yes
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
