wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize