I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
