i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
