So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
