Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
