it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
