My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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