they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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