I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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