oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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