then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I want a musical about memes.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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