I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
