dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
