shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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