I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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