I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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