Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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