STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
