he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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