Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
