so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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