You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
