similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
is that a dick in a sweater?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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