Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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