ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Randomize
