i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
