Your face is a jimmy john
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize