Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
