I heard we made out
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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