and next time when you feel me up, do it right
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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