Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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