real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
