I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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