"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
