I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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