why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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