hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
