i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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