summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I use my feet as sexual weapons
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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