I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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